the new term for farting is butt boxing.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
