i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
