Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Pants are for mortals
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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