next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
