Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
