I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
