uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
