i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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