Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
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