dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Randomize
