I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
