But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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