I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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