I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
