im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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