i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
