Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
