So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
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