If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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