every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
