I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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