: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
they're like a gay fantastic four
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
