kristin has been a bad kristin
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
