Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
