He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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