Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
