I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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