I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
