I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
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