Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
