Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
