Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
