id be glad to
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
