All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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