Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
