i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
