How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
