Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
my liver is dry heaving
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
