my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
