Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
accomplished twins. life is a go
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
