How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
