How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
