All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
