We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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