I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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