I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
