Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Two words: blizzard sex
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
