Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
