Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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