I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
its not stalking. its research.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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